Yesterday at my weekly weigh-in I hit a milestone – 25 lbs gone. To be honest I wasn’t expecting it at all. With my recent medical problems my weight loss efforts have been hampered. But last week I lost over 7 lbs and yesterday 1.6, which brings me to the 25 lb loss.
When I got back home I thought what the hell, I’ll try on some of my “skinny” clothes. I had bought a pair of Levi’s a few years ago – and only got to wear them once. Immediately after wearing them I must have gone back to eating in order to quiet the beast. Well yesterday they fit. Just a tiny bit snug, but I actually wore them out to see a movie. I was and still am thrilled.
I don’t think most women realize what it means to be fat in regards to clothes. We can’t walk into places like the Gap or Ann Taylor or even Forever 21 (god forbid) and just buy something like most women do. We really only have 3 choices – Macy’s, Lane Bryant or Avenue. Lane Bryant and Avenue are geared to large women – mostly from size sixteen to twenty four – at Avenue I think they go up to thirty-two. Macys can be a little expensive, actually all three stores are expensive, but they can pretty much charge whatever they want. To be blunt, they really have a captive audience. When I was at the top largest highest weight I couldn’t even shop at Macy’s or Lane Bryant – their sizes stop at twenty-four and I was at least a twenty-eight. I had to go to Avenue and buy whatever I could fine. The problems always came when I needed something specific for an event – a wedding, a business trip, a holiday party. It was a nightmare.
About a year ago I discovered two mainstream stores that carry larger sizes and get this – they are the exact same design and colors as the misses styles. As a fat woman I’ve been forced to buy solid colors because the designs are horrendous. Who told the fashion industry that if you need a pattern for a large woman, make the pattern large – my god, the clothes look like clown clothes. Huge flowers in bright awful colors. So may times I was unable to find anything in the Macy woman section, then when leaving the store I’d walk through Misses and see hundreds of outfits that I’d die for – great colors, beautiful subtle patterns, awesome cuts…but no, we’re relegated to house-frau type patterns which compliment no one.
I think one of the biggest things I’m looking forward to after slaying the beast and losing this weight is walking into The Gap or H & M and being able to try on anything. When I’ve gone shopping for gifts, I’ve walked into shops like these and the salespeople look at me like I’m obviously I the wrong place – which I am. With my head down, I proceed straight for the jewelry or scarves – that’s safe. I was ecstatic when I found out that J. Jill, Coldwater Creek and even Talbot carries large sizes and although they only carry them online, it’s something.
I don’t think most people realize the limitations that obese men and women face every day. There are too many to mention here, but just take a moment and think about these: the obvious – airplane seats, but there are also regular chairs when you’re afraid to break them, shoes that don’t fit because your feet are too fat, can’t wear high heals because you could literally break the heel right in half, jewelry – how many necklaces I can’t wear because they’re more like a choker. Rings in regular sizes don’t fit, even a purse that an average woman would wear under her arm, we can’t because our arms are too big. There so many thing we can’t do because of our weight – bike riding (what if the bike won’t hold us), hiking, water skiing, swimming (me in a bathing suit? no thank you), horse back riding (something I long to do), running up and down the stairs, even going to a hair salon when you’re obese is scary, how many times did I want to get my eyebrows waxed but was too afraid to go to a salon.
There are even people who can’t drive their cars because they can’t fit in the driver seat. Once when I was driving with a friend the seat belt wouldn’t fit and I held it across my big fat belly for the duration of the trip – over an hour. Back then, luckily, there was no alarm that my seatbelt wasn’t fastened. There are so many things that obese people can’t do, but wouldn’t it be great if we looked good doing the things we can.
I feel lucky, I’m on the right path and soon enough I’m going to wear clothes that everybody else…so stay tuned.
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